Who has the easier job, Mom or Dad?

I am a member of several social networking groups, and one of the asked me 20 questions about myself as a mom. I was sort of set back at first because I thought, "No one has ever asked me about ME." Everyone wants to know about the babies, everyone wants to know how daddy is adjusting, but I realized after 18 1/2 years of being a mom, no one has ever said, "let me ask you about being a mom, about how you feel about it, how are you adjusting to it?"

I spent my time going through the questions, and I attempted to earnestly answer the questions, I wanted to be very open, hopefully help a young mother along the way... Then I got this question, "Who has the easier job, Mom or Dad?"

It hit me, Wow, can I just take a minute to tell you my answer... All open, honest, and sometimes tearful, but as it was definitely deeper than they probably expected, but it was what I needed to get out and off my chest. Even though I am a pastor, I still have my personal, flesh side that sometimes tries to lash out irrationally.

Here is my answer to "Who has the Easier Job, Mom or Dad?"

I believe that in most cases, the Dad has the easiest job. Even though many are present in the kids' lives, they are still only 1/2 way there. Mothers are expected to get up in the AM for the bus, have breakfast already thought of, lunch bought, made or on the way, and supper already in the works several days before it happens.

We are called on when they bruise their leg, cut themselves, the bug almost got them, or they have to be somewhere the next morning at 5am... Let dad sleep.

We are the ones that everyone contacts about the kids when they are in trouble, when they are hurting or need help with their homework.

When is dad called on? To coach ball team, if he wants, take the son to boy scouts, if he can...

Men's rolls always seem conditional, where a woman is the one who is called on and expected to be the parent.

When a man needs a break, he can get up and go, when a woman needs a break, she has to hire a baby sitter or beg parents to take the kids for the day.

When a marriage is over, most men assume the kids are going to stay with mom and that is that... then when they are tired of being dads, they just quit coming around, quit calling, they can decide when not to come around to see the kids or choose not to come on his designated weekend just because it is inconvenient. But if you need him to switch weekends or take them on an extra day, it is like you have asked them to stop their entire world to commit murder.

Then it is the mom who has to wipe the tears when daddy doesn't show up for their sports game, concert or birthday party. And you are the one that can't make the hurt go away when Daddy has let them down again. It is the Mommy that cries herself to sleep at night because you can't keep your beautiful child from the pain and hurt they are going through.

And it is Daddy they hold on the pedestal and think of as perfect when mommy has to come down on them, or tell them no.

I don't know, who am I, who do you think has the harder job?

This New Journey

As I begin each new journey of my life, I stop and reflect on the one before. I do not hold on to the past as I did when I was younger, longing for days that were better than others, longing for something that never should or could have been. But reflecting on the cherished moments in time, how I will do things differently if a situation represented itself once again, or thinking on a loved one that has gone on before during the last leg of my journey.

I pray that I am a bit wiser this time, that I would handle some situations better, with more insight, more maturity, more strength and integrity. I pray that God has granted me the wisdom and fortitude to face the mountain yet again but this time with a different reaction, different path, and different outcome so I do not have to face that mountain yet again, because of failure or lack of better response this time around.

I look to God as my source of strength and my source of hope. I am glad for the husband he has given me. Even today, I turned to him and said, "I need to just curl up in your arms for a minute or two." His reply to me was, "I need to do the same, because everything is right when I am holding you in my arms." Good answer, and just what I needed to hear right then, in this trial. God gave me an amazing partner, even if we have to go around this mountain again, at least it is together, in agreement, and as one. Finally. Not just a husband, but a perfect counterpart, a friend, and the love of my life.

Thank you God for giving me this man to walk together in life.