Christian woman just trying to make her way in this world, not on her own, but through God's way, on His Terms for service
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Walk In the Spirit!
“Be in the world, not of the world…”
"Let your mind be like the mind of Christ,"
"Be saved and baptized, then your life will be great, and the Devil can't hurt you."
Wow, we hear over and over again, big statements like these, people say these almost flippantly to tell people how to live for God, but does that mean anything to you? Does it make any sense?
What does it all really mean? Are they serious? People go around quoting scriptures to new or weaker Christians, like they are supposed to know how to do what they are saying, that these scriptures make any sense in the "real world today," We tend to throw around scriptures like other people throw around Cliché’s, quips, and quotes in the world today. "Spend money to make money," "A Penny saved is a penny earned." "Blind as a bat," "Quiet as a mouse." You know, people use these sayings and sometimes they don't really know what they mean OR they use them the wrong way just to sound like they have something to say.
I remember saying to my kids over and over again, “Be in the world and not of the world,” and thinking they all knew exactly what I was saying. Then my daughter 14 years old looks at me and says, “Mom, I have heard this saying from you my entire life, what does it mean?” I was like, really, you don’t know? I had to explain to her, that they don’t have to wear their hair and clothes exactly the way other kids in town do, that you don’t have to be like everyone else, that we are to live like God, we are to put God and His ways ahead of everyone else and leave it all up to God.
"But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned." I Cor 2:14
"This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh." Gal.5:16
Here we are reading about walking in the spirit, but you know, a new convert, a new or spiritually immature, Christian that is still drinking the milk of the word and hasn't even tried pureed meat yet, may not even know what this would mean. I can tell you, after going up in the Church, watching my family minister and serve God my entire life, I am still learning what so many of the things that are said in the Bible actually means.
He wants you to have fun, be different, and to be the amazing, special, gift that He has made you to be. He wants You to live for Him, to want to be that person He knows you can be, but it takes spending time with God, spending time, reading the Bible and learning, no discerning from Him, through the Holy Spirit what God wants you to be, and how to be as His child.
It doesn't take a genius or a scholar to find out what discernment of the scriptures mean; it takes discernment through the Holy Spirit. Discernment means Judge carefully what is being said in the scriptures. It means that when you are reading the Bible. The first thing you should do is call on God in the power of the Holy Spirit to help you understand what the scriptures are saying. It helps you to JUDGE exactly what that verse means and who it was meant for when it was being written. You see, I don't need someone to sit beside me when I read my Bible, to tell me what it means, the Holy Spirit is right there when I call on Him to help me. He will guide my heart and mind, showing me what is real, speaking to my spirit when I am straying from the true meaning.
"And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess, but be filled with the spirit." Eph 5:18
Being filled with the Spirit is to allow the Holy Spirit to guide your life and show you the way to go and the way to live. This scripture above tells us not to be drunk with wine, to where you are intoxicated, because then you are letting something else take over your mind, your person and letting it control you, taking away your ability to control your own actions. God wants you to let HIM control you.
We have to take the time to allow the Lord to show us through the scriptures, through prayer and through His conviction on your heart to show you exactly what God is trying to show you, teach you, and convict you how to live as His child. To be that Heavenly Father that guides you in all things, that keeps you walking, talking, and living a life that is pleasing to Him. Are you ready to let God lead your life today? Are you ready to ask the Holy Spirit to guide you, to show you and help you understand the scriptures, to talk to you and help you to know what God has for your life? Let Him in today, call on Him, ask Him to guide you.
Dear Lord,
Thank you for being Lord of my life. I ask you now, as your child, that you come into my whole being, Spirit, Body, and Mind, to allow your Holy Spirit to dwell inside of me, allow Him to take over my thoughts and my life. To be able to show me your Word, what you are telling me through your scriptures, and please let my life, be a life that gives you the Honor and Glory you deserve as My God and Creator… My LOVING Father.
In Jesus Name I pray, Amen.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Where's Your Faith Anchored In the Storm?
Someday's it is the storm clouds overhead you watch carefully to see what comes next, others it is the person you call friend, you thought would be there to lift you up, encourage you, but turns out to be the one to betray the very essence of what you thought was a good relationship...
I say, if you put your faith in this earth, in the people you know and love around you, you will be disappointed everytime, but when you put your trust, your faith in the ONE AND ONLY GOD, the True God of all God's, the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the END, put your whole heart, mind, soul and spirit into His Word, His Promises, and in His Son, the Lord, Jesus Christ... You will NEVER be disappointed.
Even though HE doesn't always answer your prayers the instant you pray them, He is always working in the moment, He is ALWAYS there for you, working on your behalf, holding back the tormentor that wants to come in and make everything worse... Yes, the God of all Gods may not be working in YOUR time frame, but He is ALWAYS the God of JUST IN TIME. AMEN for THAT!!!
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Even the Rocks Will Cry Out!
Psalms 14:1 - "The fool hath said in his heart,
"There is no God." They are corrupt, they have done abominable works,
there is one that doeth good."
It always amazed me when people say, "I don't know how
you can say there is a God, I can't see Him anywhere." I say back,
"How can you look around to all of creation and NOT SEE HIM? The bible
says that if the people didn't praise Him that, "...if these should hold
their peace, the stones would immediately cry out." Luke 19:40
I don't know how any one could look at our own bodies, the
amazing detail and little bits and pieces of us, that have to go here or there
to fit, to make things work, but they just do. How can someone not have faith
in God, just by looking at all these amazing things that He created, how a
child can just be born, automatically, for no reason, or rhyme, loving this
person that just gave birth to them, trusting that they will love and care for
them always, even when that parent lets them down, in their heart, mind and
soul, no matter how disappointed they can be at them, they will always, ALWAYS
UNCONDITIONALLY love their mother. Who or how could that love be created out of
nothing? Just because? I don't think so.
I would say it takes more faith to believe that all this
order, all this amazing stuff would be created out of disorder. How can the
"big bang" create this much ORDER in the world? How does a tiger know
who its prey is, and how does he know he is NOT the prey? How does a spider
know how to catch his food in a web? No one taught him, it is inherent. How
does a kitten know where to go get his food from his Momma? He isn't told, he
just crawls over, with eyes still closed and finds nutrition. It is inherent.
How could this much order and detail come from craziness? It can't. Order can't
come from disorder. It would take too much faith for me to believe it.
People talk about, how can I be so religious? I am not
religious. Christianity is NOT a religion. It if a faith system, that creates a
one on one relationship with the only faith system that has a living, Savior, a
Living, Loving, and True God, who never requires anything from you on a daily
or weekly basis to escape wrath to come, it is the only faith system, where the
God of all PURSUES YOU, He pursues you for a one on one relationship with Him.
Where He promises to NEVER LEAVE YOU, NOR FORSAKE YOU, and keeps his promise.
He is the only God or leader of a faith system, who is alive, answers prayers,
and will be there when you call, you never have to do anything to escape wrath,
escape punishment, He just wants to walk and talk with you, grow with you and
bring you into a life of full salvation, peace, joy, and rest.
"How can we escape, if we neglect so great salvation;
which at first began to be spoken by the Lord and was confirmed unto us by them
that heard him. God also bearing them witness both with signs and wonders and
divers miracles, and gifts of the Holy Ghost, according to his own will?"
Hebrews 2:3-4
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Taking the Responsibility for Your Life and Family
In John 5, we read about a crippled man, he had been waiting by the pool of Bethesda for 38 years to be healed. Once a year an Angel of the Lord would come down and stir the waters and the first one in the pool was healed from all his or her ailments. When Jesus saw him lying there, He knew how long he had been laying there waiting, and Jesus' question to him was this, Vs 6... "Wilt thou be made whole?"
Jesus knew he had laid there the entire 38 years, that he was "wanting" to be healed, but Christ saw no "real effort" on the part of this man. He was asking the man, "do you really WANT to be healed, or are you here for show?" You may think, now that is unfair, he wouldn't just lay around there for 38 years if he didn't really want to be healed. Would he? Think about it.
The next scripture is the answer you need to find... Vs 7 - "The impotent man answered him, Sir, I have no man, when the water is troubled, to put me into the pool: but while I am coming another steppeth down before me." He made an excuse for his trouble, he didn't take any responsibility for his troubles, for his STILL being there after 38 years. He didn't say, I have tried and tried to get up there on my own, he said, "NO ONE WILL HELP ME."
You see, God wants to do things for you, He wants to heal you, give you success, prosper you, encourage you, strengthen you, and give you the desires of your heart, but He wants you to go as far as YOU can go on your own. It isn't that God can't do it with just a word or command. It is that, God WANTS YOU to walk WITH HIM. If you look back through the life of Christ, through His miracles, He asked each one to step out and do what they thought would be the impossible, and He did the rest.
Too many times we get caught up in our lives, we say, I wanted to do that, but this person played me and I missed my time. Someone needs to fix the system, someone needs to get up and make a difference in our schools, someone needs to fix the churches problems, or even, someone needs to come get my kids and MAKE THEM MIND. You know who that SOMEONE IS? It is you. Yes, YOU. We all can make a difference. It isn't that you have to take on the world by yourself, He would never expect you to change the entire nations problems on your own. He wants you to step out, in faith, believing that if you are standing in the gap for these things, that God will meet you as far as you can go, then He will do the rest.
People use the excuses of it is my past that made me this way, I was abused, you don't know what this person or that person did to me, and that made me who I am today. My ex went after me for child support, took all I have, now I can do nothing, I never see the kids and/or I just found out they are not mine, but I have to pay anyway. I am the victim here, so I can just sit and feel sorry for myself and let everyone else fix these problems. My kids will have to figure things out on their own, I had to, no one did it for me, why should I do it for them? Your past IS a part of you, it is what happened to you, it is a part of what made you who you are, your character, your fears, your victim mentality, your hatreds, mistrusts, and anger, but IT SHOULD NOT DEFINE YOU. You are who YOU WANT to be.
You can say, "Yes this happened to me, but I am a child of the MOST HIGH, LIVING GOD, and I am not that ugly, tormented little child that my parents, other kids, the bullies, and teachers said I was, I am BEAUTIFUL in the sight of my God. I am Strong, Talented, Caring, and am Loved by my Creator, Father, and Savior. By His love and grace, I want to be a servant of the most High, showing Love, Compassion, Joy, Peace, and Understand to all I come into contact with, to show them the Love of God.
As a child of God, we HAVE to spend our time in the Word of God, the Bible, spend time in prayer, and time fellowshipping with other believers who are strong, who will encourage you, help you, hold you accountable, and lift you up. You need to know that God expects more from you, because you are NOT your own, you ARE HIS, you have been given the greatest gift in the world, YOUR LIFE. He wants you to step out in the life He has for you, but it is up to you to choose. He gave each you free will to decide things for yourself. He will not interfere with your free will.
God wants you to choose Him, He wants you to choose a life of Blessing, Salvation, and a Relationship with Him. He wants you to choose for yourself to step out of your past, look beyond what happened to you, and know it is NOT who you are, it is a situation that HAPPENED. You can be ANYTHING you CHOOSE to be, it is up to you decide to stay where you are, in this life of excuses, victimization, desperation, sadness, depression, loneliness, and/or defeat, but God is giving you a different option, to Live Forever in Him, to live a life of, true joy, peace, harmony, blessings, prosperity, success, and so much more.
You have to decide, to live for God, or live for self. To let God work in your life each day through the Holy Spirit, or to let Satan continue to run your life into the ground, allow him to defeat you every step of the way. God wants you to have victory. He wants you to show your children there is life beyond abuse, anxiety, pain, hurt, and deprivation.
He wants you, WOMEN to be able to show your young ladies how a Christian Woman, Wife, and Mother should live and raise her children. He wants you, MEN, to show your Young men, boys, you know, your sons, that being a man means STAYING around, standing for God, seeking God in all you do and say, that following after God's heart does not making you weak, but gives you the strength to stand up in a world and society that is telling men, the children are NOT your RESPONSIBILITY, and say, THESE ARE MY CHILDREN, God gave them to us, to raise in a Godly fashion, to be strong, to stand up and stay around for the family, for your spouse, for the mother of your children, and for the children that are looking up to you for an example. He wants the family unit to stay together, He wants your children to see, it takes WORK, to build a marriage, a relationship, a friendship, a family, and to raise children. It takes work to be consistent, to be earnest, compassionate, loving and fair. Especially on those days you don't want to or don't feel like it. (We all have those days)
Are you willing to stand for Him? Are you willing to stand for your family, your children, your spouse, and for your life? Are you willing to make the hard choices, to quit making excuses, to quit holding grudges and being angry at the world? Are you willing to let someone else's lie be their lie, let their troubles be their troubles, let the hurt that someone else has caused you to be forgiven, and move on. You may never forget what they did to you, but you have to forgive them, not for their sakes, but for yours. To give you back the power they took from you. To take back your own strength and your own heart and mind. Forgiveness brings that back to you.
I hear people say, "Let go and Let God." It is the hardest thing to do, but when you are tired of fighting, when you are sick of never feeling like you will ever find the light at the end of the tunnel, or that you just can't go on anymore on your own strength and power, know, that beyond all there is, THERE IS a God Who LOVES YOU, more than YOU will EVER KNOW or COMPREHEND. He will never leave you nor forsake you, you just have to call on Him, ask Him to help you through what ever it is you are going through. Let Him be the Lord of Your life, and let HIM LEAD you. He will, I know it, He did for me. Won't you call on Him today?
Jesus knew he had laid there the entire 38 years, that he was "wanting" to be healed, but Christ saw no "real effort" on the part of this man. He was asking the man, "do you really WANT to be healed, or are you here for show?" You may think, now that is unfair, he wouldn't just lay around there for 38 years if he didn't really want to be healed. Would he? Think about it.
The next scripture is the answer you need to find... Vs 7 - "The impotent man answered him, Sir, I have no man, when the water is troubled, to put me into the pool: but while I am coming another steppeth down before me." He made an excuse for his trouble, he didn't take any responsibility for his troubles, for his STILL being there after 38 years. He didn't say, I have tried and tried to get up there on my own, he said, "NO ONE WILL HELP ME."
You see, God wants to do things for you, He wants to heal you, give you success, prosper you, encourage you, strengthen you, and give you the desires of your heart, but He wants you to go as far as YOU can go on your own. It isn't that God can't do it with just a word or command. It is that, God WANTS YOU to walk WITH HIM. If you look back through the life of Christ, through His miracles, He asked each one to step out and do what they thought would be the impossible, and He did the rest.
Too many times we get caught up in our lives, we say, I wanted to do that, but this person played me and I missed my time. Someone needs to fix the system, someone needs to get up and make a difference in our schools, someone needs to fix the churches problems, or even, someone needs to come get my kids and MAKE THEM MIND. You know who that SOMEONE IS? It is you. Yes, YOU. We all can make a difference. It isn't that you have to take on the world by yourself, He would never expect you to change the entire nations problems on your own. He wants you to step out, in faith, believing that if you are standing in the gap for these things, that God will meet you as far as you can go, then He will do the rest.
People use the excuses of it is my past that made me this way, I was abused, you don't know what this person or that person did to me, and that made me who I am today. My ex went after me for child support, took all I have, now I can do nothing, I never see the kids and/or I just found out they are not mine, but I have to pay anyway. I am the victim here, so I can just sit and feel sorry for myself and let everyone else fix these problems. My kids will have to figure things out on their own, I had to, no one did it for me, why should I do it for them? Your past IS a part of you, it is what happened to you, it is a part of what made you who you are, your character, your fears, your victim mentality, your hatreds, mistrusts, and anger, but IT SHOULD NOT DEFINE YOU. You are who YOU WANT to be.
You can say, "Yes this happened to me, but I am a child of the MOST HIGH, LIVING GOD, and I am not that ugly, tormented little child that my parents, other kids, the bullies, and teachers said I was, I am BEAUTIFUL in the sight of my God. I am Strong, Talented, Caring, and am Loved by my Creator, Father, and Savior. By His love and grace, I want to be a servant of the most High, showing Love, Compassion, Joy, Peace, and Understand to all I come into contact with, to show them the Love of God.
As a child of God, we HAVE to spend our time in the Word of God, the Bible, spend time in prayer, and time fellowshipping with other believers who are strong, who will encourage you, help you, hold you accountable, and lift you up. You need to know that God expects more from you, because you are NOT your own, you ARE HIS, you have been given the greatest gift in the world, YOUR LIFE. He wants you to step out in the life He has for you, but it is up to you to choose. He gave each you free will to decide things for yourself. He will not interfere with your free will.
God wants you to choose Him, He wants you to choose a life of Blessing, Salvation, and a Relationship with Him. He wants you to choose for yourself to step out of your past, look beyond what happened to you, and know it is NOT who you are, it is a situation that HAPPENED. You can be ANYTHING you CHOOSE to be, it is up to you decide to stay where you are, in this life of excuses, victimization, desperation, sadness, depression, loneliness, and/or defeat, but God is giving you a different option, to Live Forever in Him, to live a life of, true joy, peace, harmony, blessings, prosperity, success, and so much more.
You have to decide, to live for God, or live for self. To let God work in your life each day through the Holy Spirit, or to let Satan continue to run your life into the ground, allow him to defeat you every step of the way. God wants you to have victory. He wants you to show your children there is life beyond abuse, anxiety, pain, hurt, and deprivation.
He wants you, WOMEN to be able to show your young ladies how a Christian Woman, Wife, and Mother should live and raise her children. He wants you, MEN, to show your Young men, boys, you know, your sons, that being a man means STAYING around, standing for God, seeking God in all you do and say, that following after God's heart does not making you weak, but gives you the strength to stand up in a world and society that is telling men, the children are NOT your RESPONSIBILITY, and say, THESE ARE MY CHILDREN, God gave them to us, to raise in a Godly fashion, to be strong, to stand up and stay around for the family, for your spouse, for the mother of your children, and for the children that are looking up to you for an example. He wants the family unit to stay together, He wants your children to see, it takes WORK, to build a marriage, a relationship, a friendship, a family, and to raise children. It takes work to be consistent, to be earnest, compassionate, loving and fair. Especially on those days you don't want to or don't feel like it. (We all have those days)
Are you willing to stand for Him? Are you willing to stand for your family, your children, your spouse, and for your life? Are you willing to make the hard choices, to quit making excuses, to quit holding grudges and being angry at the world? Are you willing to let someone else's lie be their lie, let their troubles be their troubles, let the hurt that someone else has caused you to be forgiven, and move on. You may never forget what they did to you, but you have to forgive them, not for their sakes, but for yours. To give you back the power they took from you. To take back your own strength and your own heart and mind. Forgiveness brings that back to you.
I hear people say, "Let go and Let God." It is the hardest thing to do, but when you are tired of fighting, when you are sick of never feeling like you will ever find the light at the end of the tunnel, or that you just can't go on anymore on your own strength and power, know, that beyond all there is, THERE IS a God Who LOVES YOU, more than YOU will EVER KNOW or COMPREHEND. He will never leave you nor forsake you, you just have to call on Him, ask Him to help you through what ever it is you are going through. Let Him be the Lord of Your life, and let HIM LEAD you. He will, I know it, He did for me. Won't you call on Him today?
Friday, June 1, 2012
Power In Praying Wives!
I can tell you from experience, and this is not easy for me to say because I was a HUGE proponent of female independence, doing things on my own and being in complete control of everything, but ONLY GOD, can put together, keep, and save any marriage. I didn't believe that marriage was all they said it was, the husband first, the wife in submission to Him and to God, and sitting around waiting for him to make the decisions, to hear from God and wait to see how things would work out between the two of them. I wanted to be the one in control, I would be the one to fix everything. If God couldn't do it through me, I would do it for my family without them both! He can be here if he wants, but NO ONE is going to control what happens to me and my kids. That was me, that was my attitude, and unfortunately we paid a terrible price for my disobedience and unsubmissiveness to GOD, not just my husband, but I threw God in under the bus too.
To be honest and totally frank with you, I have never seen a marriage that took only one person to manage and was completely perfect in the relationship. Marriage takes three, to be successful, it takes You and Your spouse of course, it takes WORK, and it takes God, our father, to give you and your spouse a love and desire to serve, love, protect, communicate, and submit to one another on a daily basis.
God put you two together for a reason, for His purpose and calling and He is the ONLY way you can keep your marriage pure, holy, separated for His service and for your marriage to be renewed everyday. From personal experience, I am saying this from my heart. God can give you a love for your husband that you cannot ever imagine. He can put a fire in your heart and mind renewing it everyday, when you allow Him to be apart of your marriage.
Praying for your spouse is your way of loving your spouse into the Kingdom of God if he is not a child yet. If he is, than this is a way to ask God to be with him, strengthen him, comfort and keep him when he is away from your home, away from you and in God's care. It is a way for you to show God how you love your spouse above and beyond yourself and it will show you that you are not your own anymore. I know that this is the way that God comes in and changes your heart and life, renewing a love in you that you would not ever believe would be possible for your husband, and for God Himself. This will also show you more secrets into a Kingdom Marriage than you will ever imagine. Then you'll find the deeper you fall for your Husband, it will give you a renewed heart, mind, and love for God that you have never known. It will change you, and in changing you it will change your spouse, your marriage, your family, and your life!
This is a sample of the Prayer I Pray each day…
Bless Robert Lord, as He is concentrating on your service and ministry. He loves you and wants nothing more than to be your child, your servant, and bring others to know you more. He is a wonderful husband, father and leader to our home, and a strong example to others he sees and knows. Bless and Anoint Robert in everything he touches, All his works for you, in ALL he says and does in worship and praise to you. I pray you bless and keep Him close to Your Heart, remember Him in every way. Not just today, but everyday. Thank you for this man you have put into my life, this one you have given me to pray for, to care for, to encourage and to love.
AMEN
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Where Are You Going?
Most of us have plans through out the day, I have this to do, that to do, a house to clean, dinner to cook, and oh, yes, I forgot, some sport or activity for the kids tonight. We rush around, here, there, and everywhere. We take time to make sure everyone else's needs are met, we make sure that the hardest parts of the day are met with a little more ease, and hopefully bring some joy into someone's life as we go.
Then there is the one that is left out of that time, left alone in the harriedness of the day, in the craziness and the business of the day, that we neglect the one that keeps the wheels turning. We forget that we need to recharge batteries too. God gave women the innate ability to run around, like chickens with heads cut off, keep going on high moments of lack of sleep, rest and very little time to just sit down and put our feet up for even a second.
In all the business of our lives, in the crazy days ahead, you need to realize and LEARN, as a mother, wife, business person, entrepreneur, teacher, and all other hats we wear, that you MUST take time for yourself. You NEED to take time to rest. I know, you look at the pictures you took of everyone the other day, you noticed, you are either always behind the camera, snapping all the pictures, to have a great record of the day, or you are in the background, running around, making sure that everyone else has been taken care of, the last one to sit and eat, the last one to finish cleaning up, the last one to get to go to the bathroom, and even the last one to say goodbye.
You can't continue in this fashion. Not like this, and still plan on being an intrigal part of everyone's lives, or being any good to yourself by day's end, or even week's end. Many people say, "I'll rest when I'm dead," I was one of them. But now, with having a ministry, preaching every other Sunday, running the worship service every week, still finding time to raise my children, take care of my husband, be there for people who have seen or heard about the many things you can do and want you to be an effective leader in the community, volunteer in the schools, nursing home, or even just lend a helping hand to an organization when needed.
I am the type of person that keeps going and going until everyone that needs me, doesn't need me anymore. If I hear of something that needs to be done, no matter how big or small the task is, I want to help, I put all my needs aside, take care of all I have to take care of for my family, then push forward to help where needed everywhere I am asked. I just thought, I will have plenty of time to rest later, when life settles down.
Then when I became ill, I didn't know what to do... I knew what the prognosis was for the illness, it has been around for a long time, they just didn't know what it was, and I never let it bother me before. I knew something was different, I knew I wasn't quite right, but what was I going to do? Who was I going to talk to about what I needed, how to take care of myself, and why it was happening to me? My first husband didn't believe in the illness, it was too new to the public, there was no blood test for it, I was getting so tired, from lack of sleep, pushing my self so hard, that I was getting weaker and weaker, but he just saw it as me being lazy, and became an excuse for him not to help me anymore, neither did he take the symptoms seriously either, not with any real concern at all.
I found a doctor, who not only understood more about the disease/disorder, and told me what I needed to do to take care of the situation, and how I needed to take care of myself, so that I could still be effective in business, in ministry, and for my family and community. Getting sleep is still hard for me, even last night I only got 1 1/2 hrs of sleep, if that much at all. I have found a wonderful husband who not only has taken the time to learn about my disorder, but has also found ways to help me, support me, and to even help take some of the load off my shoulders. Thank God He sent me Bob when He did. I still want to do all I can for the Lord, for my family and community, but I now am learning my limits, I am learning to take time for myself, as a wife and mother, so that I can be effective for all situations, so that I can be fresh and ready for anything that comes my way, and not so run down that I am no good to anyone. I am also thankful that Bob has learned so much of what I do and how I do it, so that there is always back up support when I need it. A true sign of a life partner, that is for sure.
God has many plans for my life, I know where I am going. I know what my vision is and am working on how to get there. I don't let frustration and tiredness get me down, wear me out, and keep me from what has to be done. YOU can't let it get to you either. God says He gives rest to the weary. He also gives strength to the weak and encouragement to the broken hearted. He sends angels in disguise to assist you, to minister to you, and to be there when you need them, sometimes they come in the form of family, friends, spouses, or even a stranger, but they will come, when you least expect it. Open your heart, open your eyes. Find your vision, find out where you are going, then get on your way. There are people out there that need you and need what only you can provide. God will show you what that is, just open your heart and mind to Him today.
Then there is the one that is left out of that time, left alone in the harriedness of the day, in the craziness and the business of the day, that we neglect the one that keeps the wheels turning. We forget that we need to recharge batteries too. God gave women the innate ability to run around, like chickens with heads cut off, keep going on high moments of lack of sleep, rest and very little time to just sit down and put our feet up for even a second.
In all the business of our lives, in the crazy days ahead, you need to realize and LEARN, as a mother, wife, business person, entrepreneur, teacher, and all other hats we wear, that you MUST take time for yourself. You NEED to take time to rest. I know, you look at the pictures you took of everyone the other day, you noticed, you are either always behind the camera, snapping all the pictures, to have a great record of the day, or you are in the background, running around, making sure that everyone else has been taken care of, the last one to sit and eat, the last one to finish cleaning up, the last one to get to go to the bathroom, and even the last one to say goodbye.
You can't continue in this fashion. Not like this, and still plan on being an intrigal part of everyone's lives, or being any good to yourself by day's end, or even week's end. Many people say, "I'll rest when I'm dead," I was one of them. But now, with having a ministry, preaching every other Sunday, running the worship service every week, still finding time to raise my children, take care of my husband, be there for people who have seen or heard about the many things you can do and want you to be an effective leader in the community, volunteer in the schools, nursing home, or even just lend a helping hand to an organization when needed.
I am the type of person that keeps going and going until everyone that needs me, doesn't need me anymore. If I hear of something that needs to be done, no matter how big or small the task is, I want to help, I put all my needs aside, take care of all I have to take care of for my family, then push forward to help where needed everywhere I am asked. I just thought, I will have plenty of time to rest later, when life settles down.
Then when I became ill, I didn't know what to do... I knew what the prognosis was for the illness, it has been around for a long time, they just didn't know what it was, and I never let it bother me before. I knew something was different, I knew I wasn't quite right, but what was I going to do? Who was I going to talk to about what I needed, how to take care of myself, and why it was happening to me? My first husband didn't believe in the illness, it was too new to the public, there was no blood test for it, I was getting so tired, from lack of sleep, pushing my self so hard, that I was getting weaker and weaker, but he just saw it as me being lazy, and became an excuse for him not to help me anymore, neither did he take the symptoms seriously either, not with any real concern at all.
I found a doctor, who not only understood more about the disease/disorder, and told me what I needed to do to take care of the situation, and how I needed to take care of myself, so that I could still be effective in business, in ministry, and for my family and community. Getting sleep is still hard for me, even last night I only got 1 1/2 hrs of sleep, if that much at all. I have found a wonderful husband who not only has taken the time to learn about my disorder, but has also found ways to help me, support me, and to even help take some of the load off my shoulders. Thank God He sent me Bob when He did. I still want to do all I can for the Lord, for my family and community, but I now am learning my limits, I am learning to take time for myself, as a wife and mother, so that I can be effective for all situations, so that I can be fresh and ready for anything that comes my way, and not so run down that I am no good to anyone. I am also thankful that Bob has learned so much of what I do and how I do it, so that there is always back up support when I need it. A true sign of a life partner, that is for sure.
God has many plans for my life, I know where I am going. I know what my vision is and am working on how to get there. I don't let frustration and tiredness get me down, wear me out, and keep me from what has to be done. YOU can't let it get to you either. God says He gives rest to the weary. He also gives strength to the weak and encouragement to the broken hearted. He sends angels in disguise to assist you, to minister to you, and to be there when you need them, sometimes they come in the form of family, friends, spouses, or even a stranger, but they will come, when you least expect it. Open your heart, open your eyes. Find your vision, find out where you are going, then get on your way. There are people out there that need you and need what only you can provide. God will show you what that is, just open your heart and mind to Him today.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Not What I Was
You know, growing up in a Christian home, we had drilled into us over and over again how important it is, every day to be very careful and conscious of our actions and testimony before others and God. I remember hearing over and over again that my testimony is so important before our fellow man, because once you ruin it with someone you can not ever get it back with that person.
I remember thinking, really? That is so not fair, what about second chances? What about the fact that no matter what we do wrong, God will forgive us when we ask for it and He will give us chance after chance to get it right. I also know the Bible says God "forgives your sins as far as east is from the west to remember them no more," so if God forgives and forgets, so should the people we know and even the ones we don't, right? Right... Well, I learned quickly, in the "real world" it doesn't work that way at all. People hold grudges, even people we don't know, will hold everything in your past against you.
Is that really fair, no not really, but I know that we as human beings, we are the most judgmental bunch on the planet. We will constantly remind you over and over again of all your past transgressions, even when you think it is done and over with, just one day, out of the blue, usually YEARS LATER, they will say, "oh but that one time..." I just want to say, "oh really, you want to go there now? What about...?" I try so hard not to do that, I try with everything in me to not be like everyone else I know, but sometimes, when you are right in the middle of the most irritating conversation and immature attitudes, even I have found myself acting a bit "high schoolish" too. I am not proud of that part of me, but I have been known to be a bit immature once in a while.
Through the grace of God though, I have found myself through the more recent years, to be less back biting, and less childish when someone begins to throw my past in my face. I really had to face a time through my life, when God called me to a place of ministry and to a place of worth in my walk and in His will, that I have had to allow the Holy Spirit to lead an guide my walk and my talk when others begin to bring up things in my past that I am not necessarily proud of, but happened anyway. I know that God has forgiven me, I know God has called me out into the world to preach the Gospel, to teach and be a light to young women, teens, wives, their spouses, families, and even recently, God has shown my husband and I, there should never be a limit to our outreach. He wants all to come to salvation and repentance, so our ministry should not be limited to just a few.
God has shown me my way through His will, am I there all the way yet? No, definitely not, He works on me, with me, and through me day after day, and I am learning each day how much more I need to grow and depend on Him, but that I must also be that beacon for anyone else who needs Him, needs to be pointed to the way to God. The Holy Spirit is living in me, working through me, and showing me and giving me more and more of the fruit of the spirit every day. No I am not the most patient, but God is building patience through all of our tests, trials, and through my daily growth in Him.
I am learning how to not just let the Holy Spirit live in me, but to consume me, so that I am filled to over flowing with God's love. Renewing my mind and sanctifying myself daily is a big part of it, but also, through reading the Bible, having real, meaningful conversations with my Lord, and thanking Him for sending Christ to die on the Cross for me to have eternal life, which causes me to spend more time in worship and praise with Him, which draws Him nearer, makes my day fuller and even more full of joy than you can imagine.
The Bible says that "He inhabits the praises of His people..." which is what draws the Lord near, and I find the peace that I need to be still and listen to God, to know that no matter what the trial, no matter who reminds me of my past, "one more time..." God reminds me, with all His love, It is NOT what I was, but What and Who I am in Christ, NOW that is important, that is what qualifies me to be His Child and to work for Him now. That is what helps me to be the best I can be, to live my life in Christ without lies from Satan, without pain and heartache that Satan gives others to pass on to me, but to live my life IN CHRIST, as HIS CHILD, holy, righteous, and separated for His work, and His leading.
You can to, just let God work in your life. Let Him change your heart, let Him change your mind and life. He can help you see what you can become through a life full of the Holy Spirit and through His love. You can see that you are worthy, you can see that you are loved. He says in Jeremiah, "before you were out of the womb, I knew you and called you..." You have been called out, ordained to a higher calling in a life with Christ living in you, through you, and for you. Will you let Him be your guide and strength?
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