How Far Do You Have to Go?

You know we live our lives, day to day. We don't take the time we need to speak to God, to allow God to speak to us. We make compromises day in and day out on our lives, love, children's education, and so much more, we compromise our stand with God to others, to ourselves, to our children, on a daily basis, then we wonder why we can't hear his voice. We wonder why when we reach out to him we feel as if he is not even there. Why do we do that to ourselves?

God says, "Be Still, and know that I am God!" He also says, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." Then we are so busy, so hurried in our lives that we don't have time nor the inkling to Be Still. We don't want to take the time to listen to what he has to say. Then when everything falls apart, when you are facing the trials and tribulations that seem to be the heaviest things to bare, we blame God. We say, "he is so far away, I don't think he can hear my prayer, he is just to far for me to reach, why did he leave me here all alone."

You know, in Proverbs 3:5 It says, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not on your own understandings, In all thy ways Acknowledge HIM and he shall direct your paths." If we took the time to acknowledge him, took time to just TRUST that he has made these promises to us, that he isn't walking away from us, but that we are too busy for him. We are the ones that quit "Seeking FIRST the kingdom of God, and HIS righteousness." (Matthew 6:33a) and we wonder why the promise of... "All these things will be added unto you." (Matthew 6:33b) isn't happening in our lives.

How far do you have to go to see God? How far do you have to go to lean on him? How far do you have to go to allow this God and Savior in your life so he can give you the abundance and joy that he wants to give you?

How far did he go for you? Would you believe that he went ALL THE WAY TO THE CROSS for you? He took on the torment of beatings with the worst tool ever made to receive the 39 stripes on his back for you, He took being despised and shamed, being totally disrobed hanging on the cross naked, spat upon, beaten, with a crown of thorns on his head, FOR YOU. He took SPIKES, not picture nails, BUT SPIKES, in both his hands and his feet FOR YOU. He had spear thrust through his side, FOR YOU. He took on the weight of the world, he took on YOUR SINS even though you wasn't there, you were there in HIS MIND, IN HIS HEART. HE SAW YOU. He took on your sins, my sins, the entire worlds sins, so that we could have this ONE ON ONE relationship with HIM. So we could live eternally WITH HIM in HEAVEN.

How far is too far? How far are you willing to go for him now?

Which Way Do You Go?

I have been a mom for 19 years now, it seems that I am so confused sometimes and that I wonder if I am doing it right. I wonder if the words I say, the rules I laid down, and the teachings from God's word and praying them through without succumbing to the influences of society, if that will be enough. So many times they tell me they look up to me, that I am their best friend, but how long will that last? How long will they see me as an authority figure and a friend? Did they ever see me as both? Does it even matter anymore.

Then I think my goodness girl, LOOK at these kids, look at how amazing they are; they give their all to you, to please you, even when they don't always do it. Sometimes you just keep speaking, teaching, and praying, and you pray that you are the loudest voice they hear over and above all the outside influences in their lives. You have taught them to Be Still and Listen to the Lord. To know that He is God and Lord of all, but you also pray that they don't forsake the things you have taught them, that they won't forget the words you have said, and the example you tried to be for them.

I have never hid my past from my children. I am not ashamed of my past, I don't regret it either, I feel that my past, all the mistakes I made, all the troubles, and all the successes, they all make me who I am today. By the grace of God, I have found who I am, I have found the path that God has set for me. He has shown me which way to go, and I am not turning back.

I pray that in the days, weeks, months, and years to come, that my children will be able to remember all the things I have taught them, they will remember the things I have learned and have tried to show them how God has turned my life around and how He can be the LEADER and LORD of their lives, to show how God will show them the paths of righteousness and truth that God has for them. I tried to show them how to live Holy, Separated and how to walk in HIS light, in HIS truth, and HIS way for HIS children to go. I pray they won't get tired of hearing His voice, or grow weary of me speaking the things of God to them regularly.

I know in my heart, with everything in me, that my God, is the ONLY way for me. I have tried the others, they only lead to unhappiness, loneliness, despair, and shame. I have not always been so proud of the things I have done, but I am proud beyond all belief of my children, I am happy with my life and the love in my life. I am so glad that I found it before it was too late, and I am so happy that He has touched my life in so many ways.

Everyone has to find their own path, they have to make the decision on their own, whether to follow God or to follow the things of the world, they have to know what will make them happy and what will make them miserable. But in my on wanderings and going astray, I can truly tell you, that once I realized that in following the path of God, taking the step towards renewing my mind, creating the mindset that the Word of God was true and right, it gave me clarity, faith, hope, and so much peace beyond all belief. He gives me peace. No more anxiety of the future, of the past, or how I can be forgiven, live the life that God has for me. I know, that I know, that I know that I am on the path that God has set my feet to, that I am walking with the right man by my side, and that the teachings I am giving to my children are right and true. Thank you God for that peace, thank you God for that undeniable, unshakable faith and hope that is in my heart and my mind. I know it is all going to work out for the good of the Lord. Some how, some way, I don't know, be I am not the one in control. HE IS.

Who has the easier job, Mom or Dad?

I am a member of several social networking groups, and one of the asked me 20 questions about myself as a mom. I was sort of set back at first because I thought, "No one has ever asked me about ME." Everyone wants to know about the babies, everyone wants to know how daddy is adjusting, but I realized after 18 1/2 years of being a mom, no one has ever said, "let me ask you about being a mom, about how you feel about it, how are you adjusting to it?"

I spent my time going through the questions, and I attempted to earnestly answer the questions, I wanted to be very open, hopefully help a young mother along the way... Then I got this question, "Who has the easier job, Mom or Dad?"

It hit me, Wow, can I just take a minute to tell you my answer... All open, honest, and sometimes tearful, but as it was definitely deeper than they probably expected, but it was what I needed to get out and off my chest. Even though I am a pastor, I still have my personal, flesh side that sometimes tries to lash out irrationally.

Here is my answer to "Who has the Easier Job, Mom or Dad?"

I believe that in most cases, the Dad has the easiest job. Even though many are present in the kids' lives, they are still only 1/2 way there. Mothers are expected to get up in the AM for the bus, have breakfast already thought of, lunch bought, made or on the way, and supper already in the works several days before it happens.

We are called on when they bruise their leg, cut themselves, the bug almost got them, or they have to be somewhere the next morning at 5am... Let dad sleep.

We are the ones that everyone contacts about the kids when they are in trouble, when they are hurting or need help with their homework.

When is dad called on? To coach ball team, if he wants, take the son to boy scouts, if he can...

Men's rolls always seem conditional, where a woman is the one who is called on and expected to be the parent.

When a man needs a break, he can get up and go, when a woman needs a break, she has to hire a baby sitter or beg parents to take the kids for the day.

When a marriage is over, most men assume the kids are going to stay with mom and that is that... then when they are tired of being dads, they just quit coming around, quit calling, they can decide when not to come around to see the kids or choose not to come on his designated weekend just because it is inconvenient. But if you need him to switch weekends or take them on an extra day, it is like you have asked them to stop their entire world to commit murder.

Then it is the mom who has to wipe the tears when daddy doesn't show up for their sports game, concert or birthday party. And you are the one that can't make the hurt go away when Daddy has let them down again. It is the Mommy that cries herself to sleep at night because you can't keep your beautiful child from the pain and hurt they are going through.

And it is Daddy they hold on the pedestal and think of as perfect when mommy has to come down on them, or tell them no.

I don't know, who am I, who do you think has the harder job?

This New Journey

As I begin each new journey of my life, I stop and reflect on the one before. I do not hold on to the past as I did when I was younger, longing for days that were better than others, longing for something that never should or could have been. But reflecting on the cherished moments in time, how I will do things differently if a situation represented itself once again, or thinking on a loved one that has gone on before during the last leg of my journey.

I pray that I am a bit wiser this time, that I would handle some situations better, with more insight, more maturity, more strength and integrity. I pray that God has granted me the wisdom and fortitude to face the mountain yet again but this time with a different reaction, different path, and different outcome so I do not have to face that mountain yet again, because of failure or lack of better response this time around.

I look to God as my source of strength and my source of hope. I am glad for the husband he has given me. Even today, I turned to him and said, "I need to just curl up in your arms for a minute or two." His reply to me was, "I need to do the same, because everything is right when I am holding you in my arms." Good answer, and just what I needed to hear right then, in this trial. God gave me an amazing partner, even if we have to go around this mountain again, at least it is together, in agreement, and as one. Finally. Not just a husband, but a perfect counterpart, a friend, and the love of my life.

Thank you God for giving me this man to walk together in life.

Telling the Good News in a New Way for Us!

Bob and I have had our pastor's ordinations since 2007, but it hasn't been until God led us to The House of Prayer that God we have been able to share our ministry, our Lord, our Love for the things of the Lord, or HIS Words and Spirit with others.

God has sent us to be under such a wonderful Man of God that is ever faithful to him and also to have such a loving Man of God to be our mentor has been such a blessing.

Come see us at the House of Prayer on Sunday Mornings 10:00am!

God sure does supply all our needs according to His will, His Riches, and His TIME!

Just to See You Smile!

You know, I don't know much about anything, but I do now all those stupid little tidbits that no one really knows, useless information that has just stuck in my head for years and you think, "now how am I ever going to use that?"

Then one day I find someone in a bad mood, people fighting, or sad, hurting type of situation. That is when I pull it out. Just in the middle of listening to them, they look at you and say "What do I do now?" that's when it happens... No kidding... Just happens. I can always think of some stupid, funny, or outrageous thing to tell them, that is some how related, but not really related to the situation and I feel like sharing.

Was I not listening? Oh, believe me I was. What you say is VERY important to me. Truly, I listen. But I do it to help them. How does it help them? It makes them take the time to sit back, look at me like I am crazy, then it happens... they take a breath and smile. Finally they realize, things are bad, it hurts, it is sad, but you know. You are alive and it could be MUCH worse.

Take a breath, breathe from the deapest part of you, then let it out slowly but surely. Then smile.So many people wonder why I do the things I do. Why I am so giving, caring, compassionate, loving, why I am a good listener, why I serve the Lord the way I do, why I care... Just to see you SMILE.

A smile is a beautiful thing and it is contageous.

Have you smiled today?

The Sweetness of Surrender

You know, I have been on my own for a long time. Even through my first marriage, I was alone. He was there, he helped with the kids, and we had supper every night, talked about our day, put the kids to bed, But I wasn't there. I wasn't whole.

I always felt like I was carrying the entire world on my own shoulders. I had to be the one to work, I had to be in control of the finances, I had to know where the next meal was coming from, I had, I had, I had...

Whew... That wears me out just thinking about it again.

Even now, in this marriage to my wonderful husband, I have struggled with control. I have struggled with always having to make all the decisions, always having to know what was going on and what everyone is thinking. I have to know so that there are no surprises. But you know what happens when you have to be in control all the time? You don't let God rule your life. You don't ALLOW God to bless you and to show you that HE IS in control.

When life is throwing hardships at you, when you are facing the brick walls and can't find a way out. Everytime you have to decide between famine or rent, utilities or gas, children's clothes or having a home to stay in... Trust me, there are real people out there, MAKING THESE DECISIONS EVERY DAY. But when you take control and cannot let go and LET GOD help you, there is always a bigger struggle.

I have been known to fight tooth and nail days in and out. Taking on more than I can handle with work, bills, bank accounts, and with my client's promising more that can be done than one person could possibly do in a day. Just to have the control, to make the ends meet somewhere. So that I know that it is done. So that I can sleep and not worry about what is being disconnected, what is being reposessed, what is being turn down. I was always in a frenzy. I couldn't sleep, eat, hold my children calmly, I couldn't think, and I just couldn't no matter what I was saying I was doing, I couldn't pray.

If I prayed, then I would have had to give it all up. I would have had to let go and let God. I would have had to say, I can't do it on my own. It was something I wasn't willing to admit to my own husband, how in the world could I admit that to the almighty God? Right? How could I ever tell Him that this child He put on earth to do His bidding couldn't handle everything. Wasn't perfect. How could I tell Him that I wasn't all He had hoped for in His Child. Isn't that how it works? To be God's child, we have to be everything He is and more?

Ha, ha, ha, right... That is what He wanted. Someone who knew it all, was perfect in everyway, and someone that already knew it all. Right? Ohhh, my, I couldn't have been more wrong.

You see, God doesn't want perfection. If He only called the perfect and the qualified, than He would have to do it all Himself, because there isn't a human on earth, that are all those things. No matter how polished Oral Roberts, Billy Graham, Jimmy Swaggart, Joel, Olsteen (or his wife), Beth Moore, Stormy O'Martin, or any other public figure who serves God looks. We are all really just a big ole' mess without our God.

"He doesn't call the qualified. He qualifies the called." Oh, how many times I have heard that, how many times I have heard the quote, "let go and let God!" But I couldn't do it. I didn't know how. I thought I was doing right by the internal struggles, because we all suffer for the cause of Christ, right?

The thing is, yes we do suffer for His name's sake. Many Christians today, who serve God and truly surrender ALL to God are faced with many things and many struggles to be able to carry out the will of God. But it is from the obstacles that Satan puts in their way. It is from the struggles with the outside world who fight so hard against ANYTHING God has for His Children today. But we are not supposed to suffer because we are insufferable. Because we are withholding our own blessings and not allowing God to work in and through our lives.

You see, the day I fell on my knees, and said, "Oh my God, where are you? I need you to take this away from me!" "I can't possibly do all of this on my own. I have to give you EVERYTHING!" was the best day of my life. I had to give Him my relationship with my husband, my children, and my church. I had to give Him my finances, my bills, and my troubles, great or small. I had to surrender my heart, my mind, my stubbornness, my pride, and my LIFE to Him, and Him alone.

It was the sweetest part of the surrender. It was like this huge yoke or beam had been removed from my shoulders. I could feel Him pouring out His Sweet Spirit on me, right there in my living room. In the quiet of the day. In my moment of utter humility, weakness, and surrender. I realized, God doesn't NEED me, He WANTS me. God doesn't have to have perfection, He wants us to seek to be more like Him, throughout our lives. I will not be perfect until I am HOME with HIM.

Surrender, surrender it all. Give him everything! You will still have moments of weakness and doubt, you're human, and we all do it. It is in those moments though, that we stop and realize that God is in control, and all our efforts are for nothing without Him. And we begin to hold on to His hand once again, and give him the struggle, you will realize that you are hitting the mark with Him. That is all He is asking for, you to call on HIM when you are in need. When you struggle, don't hold on to it. Surrender!